Harry Potter and the Guy Who Avenges His Death
by SydandLiz
Summary: Basically, it's the 8th Harry Potter book, except it's really short, so the chapters will be really short. It's about Harry and Hermione's son and his love life and stuff. I thought it was really funny. But it's just a little story. Then, there will be th
1. Avenges

Harry and Hermione have one kid together. Hermione got pregnant with Harry's kid in the Forbidden Forest when they were 13, yet she decided to tell Harry she was pregnant, when she was 15. Apparently witches are pregnant for 2 and a half years. They named their kid Herman. But they never get married.

Meanwhile Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix have a kid together named Vellatrix. In the 7th book Harry is trying to kill Lord Voldemort. He throws a spell at him which causes him to die, but before the spell hits Voldemort, Voldemort casts a spell which will cause Harry to die a horribly slow and painful death. Vellatrix and Herman are watching Harry and Voldemort die but they do not see each other. As Harry lays in Hermione's arms, dying, his last words are "Hermione, take care of my son." Hermione is so upset that she decides to take Herman and move to a suburb. She moves in right next-door to the Dursleys. Later, Dudley marries Angelina Johnson, a witch from Hogwarts. They have a daughter together named Angela.

Angela loves Herman, but Herman hates Angela. While Herman is running away from Angela, he spots a woman. As he spots this woman, he remembers the knowledge he grew up with all of his life. He must avenge his father's death by killing Voldemort's child. He stalks Bellatrix (who was the woman), but never sees her child. Finally, he learns where she and her kid live. 


	2. Emotions Stir

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. A blossoming young lady answers the door. Herman realizes that this is Voldemort's kid and he cannot kill her because he has a heated passion for her deep down in his soul. He says to her "My name is Herman Potter. I was going to avenge my father's death by killing you, but I saw you and now I know deep in the pit of my soul there burns a passionate fiery love that can only be quenched when we are united as one." Then Vellatrix says "Your father killed my father?!? I will kill you now!" Then Herman says "But Vellatrix, didn't you hear what I said to you? I have a heated passion that burns deep within my soul for you. I want you to make that passion real." Then Vellatrix tackles Herman. Herman is laying on the ground being attacked by Vellatrix, and he suddenly says "Vellatrix, I know there is good in you. Please run away with me. I am the only one that can make you happy. We will be two wild magical creatures running wild in the cosmos, united forever by our deep love for each other. We will survive on our passion, which no one will be able to destroy." Vellatrix, crying, slowly says "Herman, kiss me."

Vellatrix and Herman move to an island together, finally united as one by their passion. They see Malfoy and Ginny with their two children. Their children are evil. Somehow they take after Lord Voldemort. The children take over the world because Vellatrix and Herman are too caught up with their passionate embraces to notice. In case you were wondering what happened to Hermione, she was killed by Aunt Petunia. Hermione had an affair with Uncle Vernon. She was also a witch (and Vernon and Petunia hate witches) and she is smarter than Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia combined. (Which Petunia found very offensive and she killed her.) The End. 


	3. Next Book

Herman Potter and the Crazy People

Dumbledore and Madame Trelawney have a kid named Wulfric. Wulfric is a werewolf. Lupin and Cho have a werewolf kid named Chopin. Chopin and Wulfric meet at their Werewolves Anonymous class while they are transformed into werewolves. They almost kill each other, but then they realize that they share the same lustful spirit. Once they recognize this, they fulfill their desirous dreams and unite themselves as one and forever put a seal on their youthful innocence.

They go home to tell their parents that their love has conquered them and they cannot be separated. Dumbledore is now 927 years old and almost dead. He is on his death bed when Wulfric and Chopin tell him that they are going to get married. Dumbledore uses his dying breath to say "Wulfric, you have betrayed me! Sybll, requite my honor and smite that deranged evil creature who is standing by my bedside whom I have disowned from my sacred establishment." Then Madae Trelawney kneels beside Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and shrieks out her homicidal rage upon Wulfric and Chopin. Wulfric and Choping were so surprised by Sybll's anger that they fled from the house to Hopsing's Restaurant.

So Herman and Vellatrix magically apparate to Hopsing's Chinese Take-out Drive-in Restaurant on accident. They were trying to go to Chopin's parents' house. When Vellatrix sees Wulfric, she forgets her vehement love for Herman and falls madly in love with the sexy monstrosity sitting at the table to their left. As Vellatrix's eyes sparkle with delight, Herman looked on with envy at Wulfric. Cho Chang walks in drunk and glances at Herman. She thinks that Herman is Cedric. She screams "Cedric, you came back for me. I love you!!!!!!!!" Herman is thouroughly perplexed as to who she is talking about, until he realizes that this is his chance to avenge his father's lost love with Cho and he seizes her in a fervent embrace and smothers her with passionate kisses. Vellatrix sees this and does the to Wulfric. Meanwhile, Lupin is sitting at the table, drunk, and Chopin is weeping silently on her father's lap. Lupin says "Herman, I will avenge your death." (He's drunk. He's not supposed to make sense.) Chopin says "Wulfric how could you. Our love is only a blossoming flower. You killed it before it had a chance to grow full and strong. " So Wulfric says "Oh, put a cork in it Chopin. You should've known that I was only trying to anger my father. I never really liked you at all. Deal with it."

Chopin is so furious at Wulfric, that she throws the Cruciatus Curse at him. It hits Wulfric. His screams shake the bones of Chopin, but she continues on with her murderous rage, and continues to inflict pain. Finally, Vellatrix composes herself enough to grab the nearest chopstick and drives it into Chopin's beautiful, but fanatical head. Chopin lies on the floor, gasping for air while her insides are pushing their way through her throat and into her mouth. She dies 20 minutes later after her appendix ruptures in her throat, causing serious damage to the brain. Vellatrix grabs a butcher knife and cuts Chopin in half. She is then so angry with herself, she chops up everyone else, but Herman and Wulfric. She chains Wulfric to the wall with a curse and tortures him. She then cuts off all of his toes and his fingers. She listens to the shrieks of pain coming from Wulfric and decides to take out his windpipe. Vellatrix now transforms into a werewolf and devours everybody except Herman, who she does not kill or torture. She leaves only the bones of her victims. While Herman lays awake, thinking about his plan to escape from this demented and sickly twisted creature, he picks up the leg bone of the former Professor Lupin. He is not seen by Vellatrix because she is finishing the brains of Wulfric. Herman strikes Vellatrix across the head. She is bleeding profusely from the ear and she is coughing up blood. She uses her dying breath to say to Herman "Once again you have escaped death just like your precious daddy. You disgust me."

Vellatrix then falls to the ground and dies. While Herman is weeping over the loss of so many people, Dumbledore appears in his pearly white ghostly form and says "Herman, in the midst of all this death, your spirit remains, proud and strong. You have shown your bravery today, in a way that would've rivaled your father. He would be proud of you. I am too. Herman, I love you." While Herman is wiping the blood and tears off of his face, he realizes that he should have been more appreciative of the fact that his father would always be proud of him, and he never had to feel like he had to avenge his father. Amen. 


End file.
